Hello, my name is Theresa and I am Canadian but I living in Gifu, Japan.  I have lived here since 1991 because I traveled here to teach English as a second language - thus met my husband here - he is a Japanese National. We have two lovely children together and they have dual citizenship until age 21.  I own/operate TLC English Center and I teach several English courses at university.  We travel back and forth between Japan and Canada, so my children are completely bilingual.

This year is a sad year for us because my father of 68 years young was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been given 6 months to live.  I met with his doctor and discovered that he did nothing to improve my father's chances of survival - I am fighting with myself to accept his fate...but something tells me deep down inside there is a way to save him.  However, the sad thing is, he has already accepted it himself and thus is not letting us help him overcome his illness.  To some people what the doctor says is almighty but I totally disagree.  I am looking for ways to heal him...remote healing has been successful with some....a miracle is what I need now.  For any of you reading this, please do send a prayer out into the universe for my father, Gerhard, who needs spiritual energy to heal him.

I hope to communicate with like-minded women going through similar experiences right here on this network. I created the TLC Poetry Corner Group for those who enjoy reading and writing poetry, please join me there to share your work.

From

Theresa

a.k.a TLCbizgirl

Work From Home

Hello Theresa,

I am so sorry to hear about your fathers condition and pray to God that things will turn out right. Have you had a chance to do some extensive research about pancreatic cancer? I deeply hope some of our successful women here can help you with good advice or had done some research about it themselves. Have you taken a look at

http://www.pancan.org/

I also heard that Johns Hopkins is leader in curing that type of cancer, have you been able to give them a call yet? I know its even harder when the person who actually has the illness denies treatment but hope dies last and maybe he is willing to give it a try?

If I were you and had prove that this Doctor did not do much to help your father I would honestly sue him. I know that will not help the condition but it might prevent him from doing this to another person one day. Please contact me if there is something I can help you with. I will also do some research and see what I can find out and get back to you.

My prayers go out to you and your family, especially your father!

Keep your head up, Theresa, miracles happen all the time!

Julia

P.S. I am joining your group in a sec. Im not a good writer but my husband is and I think his poems are worth sharing :)

Hi Julia,

Thanks for your concerns.  It is a difficult time for the three of us, especially for my sister who has decided to move her office into his house.  I have been studying about ways to fight cancer since February because a good friend of mine here in Japan was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  In my search I found some pretty promising remedies, so when I arrived at my father's house in August, I was armed and dangerous with what I thought would move him in a new direction of healing -- however, I was in for a big awakening from my dream world.   He refused pretty much everything, and this was a true heart breaker.

I discovered flaxseed and flaxoil and how to mix it with cottage cheese for the first morning meal...but he refused to eat it.

I blended wonderful healthy drinks with the world famous VitaMixer which blends at 37,000 rpms (3 kms per hour - or something)..but he refused to drink them.

I put fruit, mainly red and green grapes next to his table while he watched tv, but he refused to eat them.

I provided boost drinks, and he drinks those.

I bought enzymes to aid in his digestion and he grudgingly takes those.

I found a fantastic body cleanse developed by a nurse caring for cancer patients in a Nutritional store, and he refused to drink it.

I took him to the doctor and asked the doctor questions directly about diet specifications and the doctor did not really help, except for answering my inquiries about what foods are bad for pancreatic cancer....and he agreed with me about reducing oily foods, meats and high sugar products..however he turned to my father and said blantently, "Eat what you want."    Well with those words, he put the nail in my father's coffin.....and I was livid.....so I asked for a dietitian referral and he gave it to me, however, my father refused to go.

So even though I lead the horse to water, I could not make him drink.  I am beside myself that a living human person, especially my own father, can be so stubborn and ignorant about his own life choices.  He has a choice to try everything in his power to save himself, but he refuses to do so.  He is waiting for his demise in his basement lazyboy infront of a tv which is teaching him nothing but murder and mayhem (he watches only Law&Order, CSI and NSCI everyday).

I now truly wish for a miracle, and with that miracle, I would love to see with what he does with his second chance.

Now this would be the true test his life force.  Would he change the way he is living his life or would he not change a thing and go down the same path?  Some people would not change a thing, and he may be one of those individuals, satisfied and ready to go.

I have to accept this and people tell me I have to accept his decisions, but my heart screams for something different.

I scream for truth in "all senseless stolen lives."  And I ask for god to have mercy on him, to lesson his pain, lesson his suffering if he is ready to leave us.  Is he being punished in some way karmatically (new word) or is he punishing himself for his own shortcomings?

From Theresa

Hello Theresa,

it's not easy to answer, I think only your father will be able to answer your last question in your previous post. Did he ever tell you why he is denying all those treatments. I mean, do you think he is ready to leave and thats why he wont fight the cancer? If thats the case, has he ever said WHY he is ready to leave? I know so many questions but its hard to understand for me why he is giving up so fast and easy. Does it have anthing to do with his doctor? This doctor seems to me not to be a very cncerned person, taking things so easy and careless, maybe thats why your father lost hope.

I have heard of some people before who survived pancreatic cancer so there always is hope, just the question is how to take advantage of the treatments if the person doesnt want it.

I hope he will change his mind and I pray to God things will work out for the best for you and your family. Don't give up, tell him not to give up.

Julia

Hi Julia,

I am aware that several of his friends have not survived cancer, the most recent being his brother-in-law, but the closest person was his second wife, Kate.  She was only 48 and withered away right before his very eyes.  He was so helpless and still feels so.  He has been misinformed and and unguided, therefore believes he has just to win the waiting game.  I tried convincing him on several different occasions that there are alternative treatments, however to no avail.  Now my sister has taken my place in trying to get him to try various remedies - but most of all I asked her to improve his diet.  The doc told him right in front of me that he is allowed to eat whatever he wants (because the doc labelled him as terminal)- and I of course protested tooth and nail, but again to no avail.  When I left my dad's house, I felt I had lost the only chance I had to get him on the right path.  He is no longer listening to any of us and our pleas.

I am still continuing my remote healing techniques (if you have any which I don't know about, please do pass them on to me I could use all the help I can get);  I have no idea if they are working but at least I do not feel completely helpless.

This is not quite the topic I had in mind to keep on going but it is what is happening to me at this moment and time.  Hope I do not depress anyone out, however, I am most certain there are many others out there with similar circumstances, I feel for them, my heart goes out to them.

I do not let these thoughts rule my day.  I take responsibility for all my thoughts and my choices.

Thanks for all your support.

Theresa

By the way are you the owner of this site?  It is fantastic and I will be utilizing the features here as much as possible.  If this is yours, Kudos for a nicely developed zone for Successful Women.  Yes I can say I have achieved a level of success in all areas of my life and I continue to find new areas to develop talents.  I hope to share them with others here as well.

I would like to thank you for upgrading my account to business, what a nice surprise!

Hello Theresa,

it is kind of hard to help anyone who doesnt want help, especially if this person is so stubborn that he refuses almost every single treatment that's out there. I think the first thing needed to be done is sitting down with him and ask him what he really wants. I mean there are some people out there who really dont want to live anymore. Maybe he wants to be with Kate again because he was so close to her. If that is the case then you at least get to understand why he is refusing all treatments and you must tell him that you and the family still need him here. If this is as important to him he has no other choice but starting to accept the treatments. I dont know of any other treatments that you havent mentioned yet but I surely will keep my eyes open and educate myself. All I know is that John Hopkins Hospital truly is the leader in curing pancreatic cancer. Maybe a phone call to one of the doctors or representitive there might help?

I always think that there are no problems in life only solutions but being in the situation you are in, the solution will only come when smeone else (your dad) will participate in finding the solution which he seems not to. Being so much out of power hurts, it really does, especially when you know there is still hope. I will keep my eyes open and in the meantime keep trying to convince him and to find new treatments. Cant you secretly put some medication in his food or drinks?

You are nor depressing anyone here, your story and feelings are always welcome here. You are actually encouraging others who have similar problems to openly talk about it. It can and does help. Stay in touch, keep us up to date please :) My prayers are going out to you, your dad and your family :)

Julia

P.S. yes I am :) I dont know where this site will lead to but my idea was to create a site for women only. I take pride in what I have accomplished in life so far and so do many many other women. Here at least we all can find recognition for all we have accomplished :) Family, Friends, Business...it doesnt matter what reason we all get together here as long as we do :)

P.S.S.: you are very much welcome :)

Hi Julia,

Thank you for your suggestions here on SWN.  It has been muchly appreciated.  Today I have very sad news.  My father

passed away on Oct. 22, 2008 after his 10 month battle with cancer.  His final days were good and not so good.  He did not manage his pain very well because he wanted to be alert, but the good news is he was able to spend his last days at home and not in a hospital.  He was able to eat what he wanted and watch all his favorite tv programs.  In the last two days of his life, his bile ducts became blocked and he began to experience a backup of his internal system.  He was admitted to hospital and soon rushed to the hospice where he finally requested that his morphine be maximized.  He passed away within 24 hours of being admitted.  He was a strong man.  He spent his 10 month battle in the comforts of his own home.  People visited him throughout the last few months, but in truth he just wanted to be left alone.

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I am glad he is at peace now.  I have written a few words about my experience on my Poetry Corner Group.  Please do leave a comment there if you have any.

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from

Theresa

oh my God, Theresa, I am so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family, the whole time i was hoping he might start responding to alternative treatments or to treatments in general. I am really sorry to hear this. Let me know if I can do anything to help please. I know this is a hard time for you and your family I honestly don't even know what to say :(

Just know that I am here please :)

Julia